Almost Midnight Breakfast

Not pictured:  3 delicious breakfast casseroles.

Tonight was PCF's annual Almost Midnight Breakfast, where we "pass the torch" from the old leaders to the new leaders.  It's a night of breakfast casseroles (yum!), hanging out, and grouping together with our leadership teams.  We share a little of the people who have impacted our lives this year, rejoice in what God has done, and excitedly look forward into what God will do next year.

This is also an exciting night because it's the first time next year's ministry teams meet up.  The Justice Team I'll be staff liaison for listened as Shannon and Andrew shared their stories and lessons learned from this year.  They challenged us to listen for stories, love people, seek our basis in scripture, and pursue what God has called us instead of being overwhelmed by the injustice in the world.

I am excited for next year.  It was exciting simply to look around the room and eavesdrop on this year's leaders share their experiences, to imagine what next year will look like.  Specifically with Justice Team, I am excited that each student on the team wants to be there, and they come with their own passions and insights.  God has "imprinted" justice on their hearts in some sort of way, and they desire to live it out.

We have some hardcore homework assignments for the summer, including reading Practical Justice, volunteering at a soup kitchen/child program/homeless shelter/etc., reading the newspaper, and calling up our J-Team partner weekly.  But this is like the farmer tilling the soil, breaking it, softening it so it'll be ready for next year's crop.

Current and next year's leaders!

If you want to be in prayer for the leaders I'll be working with next year, the students I will be in close contact with are my small group co-leader Nathan H and Justice Team members Nic C, Julie G, Christine H,  Colin M, and Kyle S.

Easter Sunday

He is risen!
He is risen, indeed!

Easter Sunrise Service in Stockton, 4/30/2011

Stocktonians from 100 different churches and faith-based organizations gathered for the 6 am Easter Sunrise Service at the waterfront downtown. As the sun rose behind us, we listened to Reverend Kevin White from Crosstown Community Church remind us that people don't just need more organizations, more money, more jobs--they need a real, breathing, resurrected, living Jesus.  Parts of it sounded a bit like a political rally, and a few of us were hesitant to cheer along with "Stockton is the best place to live!"

Still, if there is any day for believers to get together, this is it.  It was a beautiful reminder that many, many love this city and its residents.  No person is alone in fighting for rights, justice, love.  No church is the only one who cares.  And none of this would make sense if our Jesus had not conquered death and is not still alive today.

On a different note, seeing as I am from a family that does not celebrate Easter, this past one is likely my most memorable one.  After returning from the sunrise service, Nathan, Darrell, Natalie and I had a real big breakfast:  eggs cooked in bacon grease, pancakes with whipped cream and syrup, bacon, sausage, orange juice, and milk.  Then we went to Stockton Covenant Church for their 10 am Easter service.  Later, a number of us went to Pastor Bud's house for an absolutely amazing linner of salad, deviled eggs, asparagus, ham, homemade dinner rolls, and all sorts of deliciousness.  Did I mention the table was set with placeholders, two forks, and actual linen napkins?  What a warm afternoon!

It's a folksie sort of day

The Cave - Mumford & Sons
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
_________________________________________


And the day after another hard conversation, the sun shines again and it's a beautiful day.  Amidst brokenness, there is hope.  Amidst mistakes, there is grace to try again.  Amidst hurting each other, we choose to love again.  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, we press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus.  And in the honesty, the fault, the confession, there is beauty and trust and another step ahead. 


It's a good day. 

For the widows in paradise; For the fatherless in Ypsilanti

I have called you preacher; I have called you son.
If you have a father or if you haven't one,
I'll do anything for you. I did everything for you

I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is there to answer if I'm the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there's anything to say, if there's anything to do,
If there's any other way, I'll do anything for you. 

__________________________________________

On repeat as I write my outline for a presentation about the Kolkata GUT.

Ten on Tuesday: The Life is Crazy Edition

How is it that I'm still feeling the end-of-the-year crunch even though I'm not a student or a staff member?  Fortunately, I'm not cramming for finals or rushing projects, but I am scheduling a bazillion things in these last two and a half weeks:

1.  Fulfillment of PCF Auction items:  Baking banana bread with a few PWF girls and photoshooting the guys.

2.  Photoshoot for Connie and Bre  =)

3.  Joining Natalie and Nick in learning Yoga (Natalie's auction prize)

4.  PCF's Almost Midnight Breakfast to pass the torch from this year's leaders to next year's leaders

5.  City-wide Easter sunrise service--I'm so excited for this!  I've wanted to go but have never made it.

6.  School of Engineering and Computer Science Senior Project Day--so happy to not be presenting!!  but I'll probably take pictures--and Senior Banquet

7.  Commencement and Diploma & Hooding, preceded by squeezing my whole family into this house the night before!

8.  Potentially dinner with our landlady

9.  Pacific's Dance Recital

10.  Trying to see people before they leave.

Oh did I mentioned this is all happening in less than twenty days?  Wheeeeeeeee!  

It's happened before

Sifting through photos to put on a powerpoint.  Flipping through journals to trigger my memory.  Reading prayer letters in familiar formats, including re-reading my own from last year.  Re-reading old entries I had blogged about just in preparation for the Kolkata GUT.  Part of it seems so long ago, so surreal.  A duffel bag for all my clothes?  Saying goodbye to my world for six weeks? 


I read what I wrote about my parents and their reaction and find it so similar to the recent happenings with IV staff.  

In hindsight, I think I was merely hoping that my parents wouldn’t object too much to my going.  I didn’t even consider that, with their own faith, they would actually be excited (yeah, sounds kinda silly now that I think about it).  And I didn’t even realize how much more encouraging their support is.

Sound familiar?  Not to say there wasn't initial resistance and to discredit the way I braced myself for any oncoming questions and doubts about staff.  But I was so surprised when they outright said they supported me, were excited for me, were proud of me.  I somehow forget God works in my parents lives as much as he works in mine.

And then I read about how funding came in so quickly and in so much abundance.  How surprised I was, how amazed I was that God took care of things before I "even had a chance to pray about them."  And I look at the job that I have now, I look at how housing is working out, I think of all the blessings and provision as of late.  Do I really have a reason to doubt?

Luke 12:27-31“Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Oh me of little faith.  It's a good thing we can repeat lessons.

10

1.  Lauren got a pet rat last week!  The little black furry guy is the cutest rat I've seen.  Way better than the giant brown ones in India.

2.  The PCF Auction last week raised $1000!  I'm beginning to really love this event and seeing what people come up with.  From a wallet made from comic strips to drum lessons (that went up to $65) and so much more...it sure raises a good amount of money while giving students a good chance to chip in to scholarships that they may very well apply for :)  

3.  I'm getting paid to shoot at ASCE mid-pac this weekend.  Two back-to-back days of shooting in who-knows-what kind of environment...but at least I'll get a good chance to see some of my civil buddies. 

4.  Been jamming to the New Life Project--good music, good stuff.

5.  Sometimes I decide I'm going to break my own rules...that being said, I am too tired to write ten things today!

Tangible provision

Recently my life has been overwhelmed by provision and grace.  And not just the God-dealing-with-my-inside-being grace, but tangible, real grace I can see and...well, I was going to say explain, but I can't really explain it. 

Perhaps it will make more sense if I just list some crazy things that have happened these past few months:

• Job #1:  Working the the School of Engineering and Computer Science is a blessing I cannot describe.  Perhaps the best work hours I could possibly need:  4 hours every morning that get me out of bed but let me off by lunchtime so I can have the rest of the day for life or ministry-related things.  A gracious supervisor who recognizes my commitments with IV and is willing to be flexible.  Decent pay.  Plus--I didn't even really apply for this job.  The short version is that this job basically fell into my lap.  The long version of this isn't that much longer.
• Job #2:  Though I had quite a lot of time with only working one part-time job and not really interning yet, I did not even consider taking on a second job.  But babysitting for one of the professor's just opened up.  Six hours a week with a 3.5 year old and a 6 month old is a bit tiring, but once again the pay is good and the extra income definitely helps!  I reiterate again that I did not look for this job.
• Furniture for the Yellow House:  Lauren and I have been in conversation about investing in making our home a hospitable place where people would not only feel welcome, but also comfortable.  If opportunity presented itself, we were willing to invest money in dining room chairs, couches, and a TV.  But as I was studying the book of Mark and Jesus' critique against material possessions and pondering what it meant to be a good steward of the money I have, I had a thought:  What if we didn't spend one dollar and God just provided everything for the Yellow House?
  Being of kinda-little faith, I wasn't willing to challenge God to do that, but I thought it'd be cool if it happened.  Here is what has happened this past month:
• I went back home and asked for the cushioned folding chairs my parents had invested in for home group (which they are no longer leading).  They were happy to donate them, and now we actually have enough chairs for eight to sit around our dining room table!
• Our good friend Harrison moved out of his apartment and passed on his unneeded furniture.  This includes a dish chair, a stool, another folding chair, and a bean bag.  The bean bag is one of those things that I had always wanted but recognized as a luxury and not a necessity...but now we have one!!
• Harrison also gave us a DVD player, and we hooked it up to an old TV from the 90's that Lauren had in her closet.  It's actually the first TV her parents bought after their marriage, but it works! 
• Geoffrey's uncle is getting new couches and wants to get rid of his old ones.  Geoffrey said, "You probably need them more than I do", so in a few months we're going to get real. couches.  Not just 10-year-old, falling apart, mis-matched college apartment couches.  Matching comfy forest green couches with pillows.  A couch and loveseat.  I am. so. excited. for. couches.  
• Dental Care.  This story is so ridiculous it needs it's own entry.  So, so amazed.
• Housing situation:  With Natalie moving upstairs in the fall, Lauren and I will be in need of a third roommate.  Last night she told me that she had found one!  A girl from her Bible study is living with her parents and is looking to move out.  And suddenly we don't have to worry at all about raising rent because we won't have enough roommates...
• Parent's support:  As my family is about to hit some tricky times, my parent still express their hope to support me on IV staff next year.  Compared to the initial reaction when I first told them about staff seven months ago...ah.  

At the end of our Kolkata trip, we studied the story of Jonah.  This verse stuck out to me then and continues to ring in the back of my head now:

"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs."  Jonah 2:8

Coincidentally (?), when Natalie and I were on our way to SF to start the whole dental-care-thingee, we were wondering how we live a lifestyle that reflects God's Kingdom and our trust in his provision.  The thought at that time was this:  If we were always so quick to fix our own problems, when would we give God a chance to show himself as one who provides?  Given, there is an element that is our responsibility, such as still applying for jobs or managing our money well so we can use it well.  But still:  what if we had bought a TV, a couch, chairs?  Would we have recognized that God was plopping it all in front of us (for free!) if we had already acquired everything on our own?  Surely if I had dental insurance I wouldn't see this network of friends-acquaintances-parents draw together to just...give.

Life baffles me sometimes.  

If his grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

Flashbacks of India

The weather is warm in Stockton again, so I put on my lightweight cargo pants, a t-shirt, and my Merrell sandals. The cargo pants were the only non-salwar pants I wore for 6.5 weeks.  I wore them on the long plane flight, I rolled them up in the humidity of Bangkok.  The sandals have trudged through puddles, mud, and likely even feces.  They stayed on my feet in the chaos of being shoved on and off the trains.  They have tread the alleys of red-light districts.

________________________________________________

Natalie and I meet Rob in Berkeley and go to a restaurant with Pakistani, Mexican, and Indian cuisine.  The Indian menu is familiar and I want to order and eat everything:  veg pakora, samosas, mango lassi, palak paneer, galab jamun, and combinations of masala, chicken, curry, paneer.  Gobi for cauliflower, aloo for potatoes.  We order just like how Jane, Rich, and I used to order at Ricky's:  one naan each, a chicken dish, a vegetable dish.  We break the naan dip it in the tender and flavorful chicken curry.  The paneer is a bit firm but the masala makes it worth it. 

The women who serves us is wearing a goldenrod salwar.  There is complimentary tea, which we excitedly discover is actually spiced chai.  Milky and sweet, we drink it in cups three times larger than the small clay cups for two rupees on the streets of India. 

________________________________________________

In two weeks, I will be making a presentation to one of my old churches about my Kolkata trip.  It has been nine months since my return, and now I must find a way to summarize it.  The Poverty Timeline floats back into my head, and I wonder where to begin.  How do I articulate the beauty?  How do I talk for thirty minutes and trust that God is moving hearts where they are ready?  How do they understand this is more than a humanitarian effort, a sacrificial summer?  No, it is a calling for us all. 

And I must make the same presentation in Chinese.

________________________________________________

Nearly every day I stand at the crosswalk waiting for the line to turn.  Anytime there is a someone else waiting with me, I can't help but notice the distance between us.  In India, the people are crowded around you; if the train is in sight, you are pressed sweaty-arm-to-sweaty-arm.  But here a radius of several feet is our normal personal bubble.  Any closer and the stranger may feel uncomfortable, intruded upon. 

Sometimes this still feels foreign to me.

Jungle Dentistry

A week and a half ago, I woke up to something crunchy in my mouth and discovered that one of my fillings had come out and there was now a big hole in one of my teeth.  For the curious, it is the fourth tooth from center on the top right part of my mouth.  For the teeth-inclined, my almost-dentist friends have said it is one of my pre-molars.

Anyway, this proved particularly difficult because I am about to have no dental insurance, and everyone knows dental work is pretty pricey.  But we have several friends who are dental students, so yesterday Natalie and I road-tripped our way out to SF to hang out with our friend Ester and to see what Leslie had to say about my tooth.

Leslie came prepared with all these tools and materials, and to make a long story short, I found myself in the middle of what I refer to as Living Room Dentistry: sitting on Ester's couch, leaning my head back as Leslie stood over me in her jeans, T-shirt, and fancy bright light, dental tools spread all across Ester's dining room table.  I was amazed at how prepared Leslie was:  I thought it'd be a quick check of "It's not that bad, we can get it fixed soon" or "Sorry to say, it's pretty bad."

Turns out it is pretty bad.  I'll skip all the details and terms, but yeah it's pretty bad.  Regardless, Leslie eventually decided it'd be better to put in a temporary filling than to leave the hole in my tooth exposed.  This is where a little craziness starts happening:  Because we weren't completely equipped in the living room, the dental students start getting a bit creative.  With the uncertainty from such a unique case, a lack of materials, and no X-Rays, Natalie called her mom (who has experience in mission-field, random-situations clinical dentistry) to get some advice.  Eventually Leslie's roommate Lori and another PCF alum/friend Al, both third-year students, end up in this living room dental office as well.  As materials weren't cooperating or were running short, they kicked in creative measures with kitchen materials and mixing materials by hand.  Each person also ran back to their rooms and various times to grab other materials--Lori even brought in some of the stuff she had on a dental mission in Peru!

Several things about the whole afternoon amazed me:

• The confidence of third-year students to have the guts to just do what would be best for me.  I feel I would have been hesitant to act outside a clinic in a living room, but these ladies were so determined to make a temporary filling for protection.
• The absolute. ridiculousness. of living room dentistry.  Natalie's term was Jungle Dentistry, referring to the kind of health missions that happens in a jungle when materials are sparse and you get creative with whatever you have.  Chopping boards, any sharp object, sanitizing the area with Chlorox (suggestion courtesy of Dr. Ito)...
• A whole afternoon of precious time for dental students--enough said.
• The genuine curiosity of the students.  I guess this is understandable that they would be excited to put into practice what they learn in class, but still.  The extra effort put into calling dentist friends, drawing on information studied, combining ideas...I think they'll be good dentists someday

So the whole in my mouth got temporarily filled, but we still had no long-term solution.  Then Al mentioned her father has a practice in South San Francisco and offered to ask if he would see me.  A few hours later we talk on the phone, and his associate will see me.  Free. of. charge.  This is still a temporary solution:  clean up  the decay, remove any dead bad stuff, and put in a filling that should at least last several months.  

But as third-year students, both Al and Leslie need certain cases to complete for their clinics (or boards...I really am not sure).  I will likely need a root canal (Tangent:  Doesn't this sound like an ugly name for a procedure?), but that's also one of the things they'll need to complete.  The dental school does these at a reduced price, but even a ~40% reduction comes out to about $550.  But Al's dad is willing to pay for that procedure.

Here I am stuck at how to complete the story.  Partially it's because the story isn't over yet--I haven't actually made it to the dentist, I have no idea how long it'll take for everything to be finally worked out.  But the main thing is...what more can I say?  To have a $1k procedure--in a series of loops, blessings, and connections--free?  

The foresight God had into the whole thing baffles me.  To have Al return in time for Leslie to see her (we hadn't even called Al originally) so she would suggest her father's office.  Her father's willingness and generosity.  Even Natalie's history and interest in dentistry--who would have thought that would come into play so personally?

These freak, unpredictable expenses are the things that terrify me about stepping into ministry where I won't have a lot of extra money to spare.  Yet at this moment, all I can really say is Jehovah Jireh--My provider.

Full Circle

I am. so. excited. for next year.  I think this is the most excited I have been in six months or so.

PCF leadership placements are done and next year's leaders have been notified.  I will be the staff liason for the Justice Team and will be co-leading small group with Nathan H in the John Ballantyne-Carter Halls (JBC)!

As I was walking home from work today, I realized something that made me want to stop and laugh in awe of God's timing:  In a way, my life has just come full circle.  I lived in JBC my freshman year, and it was in the weekly small groups in Carter lounge where I first did manuscript-style scripture and listened to direct applications that the book of John had for my life.  At the tail end of that first semester, a few underclassmen and I were invited to join the Justice Team, which was my first experience in leadership.

Four year laters, so much has changed.  Justice Team is no longer characterized by pipe-cleaner-J's on glasses, making weekly World Minute announcements.  JBC still has pre-health majors but now often splits into two small studies in the John B basement because of the high attendance.

And then there's me.  No longer the eager but hesitant freshman, slowly testing her confidence.  No longer wide-eyed and surprised that God cares about the oppressed.  Four years later of stories, experiences, lessons, pains, and joy.  Four years of students and relationships and trust in God's faithfulness.

In a beautiful way, I feel like God is bringing me back to these places I began, saying, "Look how far I've brought you since."

I think of Peter and the disciples at the end of the book of John.  After Jesus' death, resurrection, and reappearance, they return back to their original lives as fishermen as if they don't know what to do with themselves.  But Jesus doesn't let them stay there.  He finds them again where they had started, but then he launches them into a new phase of following him.

And in this excitement of a new crop of student leaders choosing risks, taking a challenge, and finding something new, I smile.  In a way I've come back to where I started, but so much has changed and so much is still to come.

In the words of my good friend and sister Sam, "You're going back to where you used to be.  And, well, none of that has changed.  So it has to be you!"

Good

Tweeted from my good friend Kaben Kramer: 

Feeling good isn't the same as doing good. The former reassures your world, the latter revolutionizes it.

Stuff I Like

I'm sitting here happily at Empresso Coffeehouse with a Chai Latte Frappe excited about IV ministry next year and kinda in awe at how crazy my life will be in four months.  Actually, who am I kidding?  My life is pretty crazy now.  Two jobs, dancing, training for a half marathon, ministry, friends, and a bf are some of the things I am juggling around as is!

But I think I'm at a place in life that I just, well, love.  As hectic as it is, as many unknowns as there are, and so many things that aren't set in stone...I am excited.

I am also pretty happy right now.  If you don't know me, this is not really a big deal.  Finding things I really like are also not a really big deal.  But once I like them, it usually means I really like them.  And on this chill, catch-up-with-life-in-a-coffeeshop afternoon, I decided to write a list of things I like.

• Empresso Coffeehouse.  Given, my favorite seat with the high table in the corner was taken when I talked in, but I love this place.  However, I'm not sure how I feel about a Chai Latte Frappe.  I think I'll stick to the hot version when it's cold and iced tea when it's hot.
• Blogger/blogspot.  I was about to start this blog on wordpress until I found out Blogger allows custom pages on your site, and I was more than happy to run back to this page!!
• Line-less journals.  I had a few teammates on the Kolkata GUT 2010 who were heavy proponents of line-less journals.  During the trip, I volunteered with and eventually purchased a journal from Love Calcutta Arts that, you guessed it, had no lines. And I loveeee it.  I can write in any. direction. I. want!  And vary my margins by page.  Wheeeeee.

Happy Wednesday!

Ten on Tuesdays

1.  I bought three little bunches of silk freesia's for $1 at Michael's.  Doesn't satisfy my love for real flowers, but now there's a little burst of yellow and white in our living room.  Hooray!
2.  Last week we had a beekeeper come and remove a hive-in-process at the corner of our house.  Now, this guy wasn't very professional and is a self-taught beekeeper (not an exterminator), but this came with two pros.  First, he was a lot cheaper.  Second, he persuaded us to eat the natural honey and chew on the soft honeycomb.  Tastes like honey from a bottle, so I'm glad that's straight :)  A con is that he was very insistent on us taking a close look at the bees...
3.  I started reading "Getting Sent" (IVP) about conviction in mission and raising support based on relationships, true investment, and excitement about your ministry.  Good read.
4.  Mary and I made dal last week.  It was delicious.
5.  Speaking of dal often reminds me of India-related memories: I've been having this overload of Kolkata flashbacks.  The warm weather led me to bust out my sandals and cargo pants, which was my outfit all during debrief and orientation...
6.  Tomorrow afternoon I am crashing Empresso Coffeehouse to write a long email to Catherine and process and journal about IV staff and recent happenings.  I love coffeeshop days!
7.  I am getting really excited about IV staff next year.
8.  The roommate Lauren excitedly bought Lord of the Rings:  The Fellowship of the Ring for $12 at a local music shop.  It is now playing.  I loveeeeeeeeee this trilogy!!
9.  I haven't finished reading it though.  I'm about 2/3s through the first book!
10.  Aragorn is my favorite LOTR character.

Oh man, my lists are so random.  Well...Happy Tuesday!

StockDip 2011

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for walking with me today.

But I feel guilty.  Jesus, I am not competitive.  I didn't want to win, didn't ask to be on top.  But once you're there, what can you do?

I feel frustrated by those who think they would have done otherwise.  Redistributed wealth, set the lower class free.  But it was so hard.  You would have done the same.  Trust me, you would have.  Because I did.

 I feel dirty.  I feel like I betrayed them, hurt Natalie.  I know I said things to put them down, know I was relieved to have Steve move down.  I didn't want to be that far ahead, but we made it happen.  To secure my safety.

Maybe I feel guilty because I know I am.  All my excuses these years:  I have come to be a student, after all.  That comes first: securing my future.

I am angry because I feel like I am the only one feeling.  Why does no one echo my outburst?  Aren't we all so equally corrupt, so disgustingly selfish?

More excuses:  I didn't ask to be smart.  I'm not that rich.  My jealousy at everyone who does not understand what it is like to find your own money for college.  The shadow of loan repayment looming.  Sure, I make a thousand a month.  But that's only enough to live on.

Jesus, peel away these excuses.  Deal with this guilt, but I know I need this tension.  It is like Peter all over again--I am just like him.

But I talk four years after this journey has begun and where am I?  I've created a budget only to count down to the next month so I can spend again.  I will talk to the needy who cross my path, but I do not search for them.  And I still walk Stockton nearly paralyzed with fear.  Afraid to be approached, called at, attacked.  Wary of any dark figures, always remembering that anything can happen.

And perhaps that is my real guilt, my real shame.  That after 4.5 years, I say I have come to love the place, call it home.  Yet I fear, Jesus.  I remember the terrifying moments of darkness, I cannot trust the strangers on the street.

But Jesus you are doing something.  Your people, talking and serving in real life, fear nothing.  Bob (Peniel) says with confidence that you are changing the footprint of the city.  There are people seeking shalom.  There are churches working together.

Do you call me faithful?  Are you still pleased?  Is my heart actually soft?  For surely it is not guilt you want me to dwell in.  Conviction, perhaps.  Because, well, I have grown.  And this is a journey, after all.

SIGH, Jesus.  Sometimes I feel like I'm not going anywhere.
But thank you for being with me.  Like you always are, right Jesus?
I love you.

Audrey
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Sixteen staff and students from Pacific Christian Fellowship participated in StockDip this past weekend.  With the intent of getting a small "dip" into the reality of urban poverty as well as a glimpse of God's heart for the oppressed, we studied scripture, participated in simulations, went on a city walk, and heard testimonies as well as lived and ate with the residents of the Gospel Center Rescue Mission.