Official

I just printed my first prayer letter on IV letterhead.

Whoaaaa.

On a different note.  Fundraising is going to be fun this summer.  And by "fun" I mean "a-lot-of-work-but-I'll-trust-it'll-be-so-worth-it"!  Also many stamps to buy and envelopes to address.

Wheeee!

My life is way too adventurous.

So last night Darrell and I were walking out to my car at his apartment complex.  We passed an empty parking spot, and I stopped and looked at it and said, "My car used to be there."

Turns out that someone checks the private residence for parking permits in the middle of the night...and my car got towed.  Well, at least it wasn't hotwired and stolen.

On a lame note, they charge $175 for towing, then $80 if you pick it up after hours.  But if you wait till the next day for business hours, then it's a $50 storage fee.  SIGH.

On a good note, the wonderful bf picked me up before work so we got my car back.  Fortunately, my parents had just switched the registration to my name a couple months ago...just in time, as they only accept credit cars from the registered owner.  Thank God!

And now after all that adventure, D and I are going on a hot date night to Matsuyama's and then to the theatre to watch The Odd Couple.  We are so classy.  And I am wearing the new jewelry my lovely mom got me :)

Happy Friday!

See you later

I just said goodbye to my good friends Kaben and Jenn Kramer, who are leaving this Sunday to northern Uganda.

At least five of my friends are going on short-term missions this summer, but the Kramers will be the first of my friends to leave long-term.  I had all these feelings translated into words in my head, but now that I'm writing I can't think of it.

At the least, there is this:  The Kramer's leaving is one of those times that you realize you can't do anything but pray.  Getting together a good bye gift, a two-page letter amidst all their paperwork...is perhaps not the best way to love them.  And in the end, prayer is what we need anyway.

Besides, a lengthy goodbye is perhaps unnecessary anyway.  Though I am a big fan of articulate, deep messages...I want them to leave with the joy of being sent, and I know the weight of saying goodbye to the home they have known is already heavy enough.  Kaben knows how much I have valued his friendship.  And God willing, we will see them again.

Sometimes I think I've gotten used to the cycle of goodbyes.  Other times it feels like an old muscle I've forgotten how to use.

Random

I wonder how many times I can rewrite a to-do list until I actually start doing it?  Hmm....

Commencement

On Saturday, I walked around in this flow-y black robe with a square on my head and participated in Commencement and Graduation ceremonies at Pacific.  It was a bit funny to have done it five months after I actually finished classes (but less funny than if I had done it before, in my opinion!), and I also think there's a part of me that just really doesn't know how to make a big deal of myself (aka celebrate), whether it be birthdays, awards, or occasions like this. 

Fortunately, I'm blessed with people who love me and do the job for me...?  That sounds funny.  Anyway, the whole family came up and packed themselves into our little house (Lauren and Nat graciously invited themselves upstairs) the night before, with the two brothers sharing the futon!  Anyway, between them, Darrell, undergrads who came, and long-distance friends who surprised me (Rob! Troy! Jackie! Harrison!), it was a delightful day!  Topped off by an eight-player game of Nertz with my friends and siblings and crepes for dinner.  

Lauren made me a handmade card and one of the things she wrote was how this isn't so much about graduating from college, but about the start of another phase of life (paraphrased).  And that, I think, is something I feel like I can celebrate.  The commencing of the next adventure--the upcoming training as an intern, the phasing out of student responsibilities, the settling of roots in friendships not connected to students I'm discipling.  

And I just got a new planner for the upcoming academic year so I can write in all the upcoming dates...it's all starting very, very soon!!

(I was going to post a picture of me in the fancy-looking graduation outfit, but D played photographer for the day and I haven't gotten them from him yet...)

Green Beanie

It's the intersection I'm so familiar with, one I've driven by since my childhood.  Right at the corner of the center of Target, with gas stations on three corners and a church building on the fourth, the intersection where you turn to get to the freeway.  It's not uncommon to have panhandlers there, usually a scraggly, tired man with a cardboard sign.  When I was young, I remember my dad making some comment that they were there by choice, could get themselves out of their situation, were lazy, etc. You know.

When I drove up this time, there was a scraggly, tired man with a green beanie.  His cardboard sign said, "Disabled - Unable to work."  I don't think it asked directly for money.  But hey, I'm learning to give and to love, I'm sure Jesus would want me to give to this man who probably didn't do anything wrong.  I pull out my wallet and feel a little generous, so I call him over with a "Sir".  He leans a little out of his wheelchair to reach for the five in my hand.  

"Thank you,"  he says.

Then I realize how ill-timed this was.  I had just missed the green left turn light, which is why I had time to pull out my wallet.  But that meant the cycle of lights and turns had just begun...Awkward.  I didn't want to close my window at him just because I already gave him money.  Attempting to strike conversation, I mention something about how I'm glad the wind has died down (No! Why say that? Perhaps he was out in this wind?), I sit there with my radio turned off and twiddling my thumbs in the front seat...he throws out another, "Thank you, again."  And finally the light turns green, I say good bye and pull away in relief.

The thoughts hit me as I pull on to the freeway.  This isn't effective, is it.  What if I offered him a ride in my car to a restaurant, got to know him, listened to his needs, and connected him to a solution?  But I'm not even aware of unemployment services in my hometown. But I'm going to be late.  How do I recognize that giving money to people is not a solution, yet not use that as an excuse?  Even the oft-paraded, "Take them for a meal" now bothers me:  one meal doesn't solve the solution either (the justification is often that hey! they might use the money for drugs! alcohol! breaking the law!).  And where is the line between precaution (don't help them feed their addiction) and judgement (every person on the street is an alcoholic or a druggie)?  And how many of us have actually fed someone from the streets or taken her in to buy food and groceries?  You know, let them interrupt your life and all.

Somewhere somehow I've discovered that just money cannot solve anything.  The part of me that is startled by the questions raised by this one interaction is frustrated to realize that I wish it did, wish I could throw money at people and that would solve their problems.  Wishes I could just give $5 to the man in the green beanie in the wheelchair and feel good about myself and the world.