"How long have you been in this country?"
I respect the man. The father of one of my best friends. He is half Chinese, half Japanese, married to a Caucasian woman. The question comes up after a young guest at the table asks clarification to a statement regarding a delicious chocolate cake that was made with no sugar by a diabetic woman. "It's to die for," the father said. But the di- in diabetic and the die in die-for got a little mixed up in the quick-moving conversation and perhaps the slightest hint of a Chinese accent and his facial features and all of a sudden we're on this topic.
Twelve years, the young man says. And in a later conversation I learn that he rarely goes back to China. And yet here we are, pointed out as different by a father figure who doesn't look all too different than us. But he is accent-free and knows idioms and phrases so I feel behind.
I think I was instinctively jumping to his defense. "It's okay, I don't know most of the idioms either." The dad looks at me with wide eyes. "Here you are, an ABC, and you don't know the idioms and what they should mean!"
I'm confused with where I missed a beat. My friend tries to explain, "But see, she was born in Milpitas, which is basically China II." (is it now? is it?) I suppose that holds a grain of truth. But perhaps more importantly is my parents were immigrants and most of the exposure came from the books I read (and I read a lot) and movies I watched. And maybe my teachers. Internally I defend myself: But I do know them, I do know them! I just didn't realize people actually used them regularly. And is it wrong if I don't use them?
Eventually the topic fades away and I am left wondering if it would have helped if I jumped in and said, "I know some Chinese idioms," which are true marks of a scholar in our culture (and yours). But I really don't know enough of them to matter, and even so, would that help my case?
I respect the man. The father of one of my best friends. He is half Chinese, half Japanese, married to a Caucasian woman. The question comes up after a young guest at the table asks clarification to a statement regarding a delicious chocolate cake that was made with no sugar by a diabetic woman. "It's to die for," the father said. But the di- in diabetic and the die in die-for got a little mixed up in the quick-moving conversation and perhaps the slightest hint of a Chinese accent and his facial features and all of a sudden we're on this topic.
Twelve years, the young man says. And in a later conversation I learn that he rarely goes back to China. And yet here we are, pointed out as different by a father figure who doesn't look all too different than us. But he is accent-free and knows idioms and phrases so I feel behind.
I think I was instinctively jumping to his defense. "It's okay, I don't know most of the idioms either." The dad looks at me with wide eyes. "Here you are, an ABC, and you don't know the idioms and what they should mean!"
I'm confused with where I missed a beat. My friend tries to explain, "But see, she was born in Milpitas, which is basically China II." (is it now? is it?) I suppose that holds a grain of truth. But perhaps more importantly is my parents were immigrants and most of the exposure came from the books I read (and I read a lot) and movies I watched. And maybe my teachers. Internally I defend myself: But I do know them, I do know them! I just didn't realize people actually used them regularly. And is it wrong if I don't use them?
Eventually the topic fades away and I am left wondering if it would have helped if I jumped in and said, "I know some Chinese idioms," which are true marks of a scholar in our culture (and yours). But I really don't know enough of them to matter, and even so, would that help my case?
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