[edited title: on ferguson]

I hesitate because "speaking up"
cannot be reduced to facebook
or a blog post

On the other hand I admit my silence because
Who can I even speak up to?
Will my social circles care to listen?
What do I say?
What if I've got it wrong?

Is "silence" interpreted by
social media streams devoid of shares
That look just like
"everyone" else's

Is it enough that speaking up
Comes in quiet questions asked in prayer
Consistent thoughts in the back of your mind
Bracing and facing hesitation as you call a friend
Prepared to fumble over words

The truth is:
I have not intertwined my life with theirs
Thus I have to choose hurt.
Before the sin of silence
Is the sin of distance between them and me

When I choose to speak,
Is it because I feel guilty?
Because I choose not to
Is it because I don't feel convicted enough?

In the flurry of
blogs
posts
news
videos
hurt
pain
right
wrong
sadness
silence
expectation
yearning
what part of the deep gray matter and mess
do I choose?

Help me
I am not avoiding
I just don't know what to say