It's the intersection I'm so familiar with, one I've driven by since my childhood. Right at the corner of the center of Target, with gas stations on three corners and a church building on the fourth, the intersection where you turn to get to the freeway. It's not uncommon to have panhandlers there, usually a scraggly, tired man with a cardboard sign. When I was young, I remember my dad making some comment that they were there by choice, could get themselves out of their situation, were lazy, etc. You know.
When I drove up this time, there was a scraggly, tired man with a green beanie. His cardboard sign said, "Disabled - Unable to work." I don't think it asked directly for money. But hey, I'm learning to give and to love, I'm sure Jesus would want me to give to this man who probably didn't do anything wrong. I pull out my wallet and feel a little generous, so I call him over with a "Sir". He leans a little out of his wheelchair to reach for the five in my hand.
"Thank you," he says.
Then I realize how ill-timed this was. I had just missed the green left turn light, which is why I had time to pull out my wallet. But that meant the cycle of lights and turns had just begun...Awkward. I didn't want to close my window at him just because I already gave him money. Attempting to strike conversation, I mention something about how I'm glad the wind has died down (No! Why say that? Perhaps he was out in this wind?), I sit there with my radio turned off and twiddling my thumbs in the front seat...he throws out another, "Thank you, again." And finally the light turns green, I say good bye and pull away in relief.
The thoughts hit me as I pull on to the freeway. This isn't effective, is it. What if I offered him a ride in my car to a restaurant, got to know him, listened to his needs, and connected him to a solution? But I'm not even aware of unemployment services in my hometown. But I'm going to be late. How do I recognize that giving money to people is not a solution, yet not use that as an excuse? Even the oft-paraded, "Take them for a meal" now bothers me: one meal doesn't solve the solution either (the justification is often that hey! they might use the money for drugs! alcohol! breaking the law!). And where is the line between precaution (don't help them feed their addiction) and judgement (every person on the street is an alcoholic or a druggie)? And how many of us have actually fed someone from the streets or taken her in to buy food and groceries? You know, let them interrupt your life and all.
Somewhere somehow I've discovered that just money cannot solve anything. The part of me that is startled by the questions raised by this one interaction is frustrated to realize that I wish it did, wish I could throw money at people and that would solve their problems. Wishes I could just give $5 to the man in the green beanie in the wheelchair and feel good about myself and the world.
When I drove up this time, there was a scraggly, tired man with a green beanie. His cardboard sign said, "Disabled - Unable to work." I don't think it asked directly for money. But hey, I'm learning to give and to love, I'm sure Jesus would want me to give to this man who probably didn't do anything wrong. I pull out my wallet and feel a little generous, so I call him over with a "Sir". He leans a little out of his wheelchair to reach for the five in my hand.
"Thank you," he says.
Then I realize how ill-timed this was. I had just missed the green left turn light, which is why I had time to pull out my wallet. But that meant the cycle of lights and turns had just begun...Awkward. I didn't want to close my window at him just because I already gave him money. Attempting to strike conversation, I mention something about how I'm glad the wind has died down (No! Why say that? Perhaps he was out in this wind?), I sit there with my radio turned off and twiddling my thumbs in the front seat...he throws out another, "Thank you, again." And finally the light turns green, I say good bye and pull away in relief.
The thoughts hit me as I pull on to the freeway. This isn't effective, is it. What if I offered him a ride in my car to a restaurant, got to know him, listened to his needs, and connected him to a solution? But I'm not even aware of unemployment services in my hometown. But I'm going to be late. How do I recognize that giving money to people is not a solution, yet not use that as an excuse? Even the oft-paraded, "Take them for a meal" now bothers me: one meal doesn't solve the solution either (the justification is often that hey! they might use the money for drugs! alcohol! breaking the law!). And where is the line between precaution (don't help them feed their addiction) and judgement (every person on the street is an alcoholic or a druggie)? And how many of us have actually fed someone from the streets or taken her in to buy food and groceries? You know, let them interrupt your life and all.
Somewhere somehow I've discovered that just money cannot solve anything. The part of me that is startled by the questions raised by this one interaction is frustrated to realize that I wish it did, wish I could throw money at people and that would solve their problems. Wishes I could just give $5 to the man in the green beanie in the wheelchair and feel good about myself and the world.
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