How is fundraising going?

An oft-asked question at this point in life.


Fundraising is a whirlwind of emotions.  Every hour spent on support-related things (writing emails, mailing letters, logging responses, writing and rewriting lists of people to meet) is a fight to remember that God is in control, prayer is a necessity, and that this is worthwhile.  With each letter, the half worry of How will they respond?  Will they respond?  What will they think?  Am I being appropriate?

I tell myself several things during this time:

• Prayer is more important than finances.  It is incredibly hard to remember that an afternoon spent in prayer will do more than an afternoon spent checking things off my list.  The only way that works?  God > me.  Why is that so hard to believe? 
• Don't take it personally.  If someone does not respond or does not support, it's not personal.  I do not know their finances, their heart/ministry focus, their reasoning.  
• This is valuable.  I remind myself that I have seen Jesus transform lives and that I want to see this for even more students. 

God is in control.  He is the one who provides, he is the one who strengthens those who follow him.  Ministry has been going on since creation; I am not the first one.  

And what about all the times he has provided even in this past year?  Can I be so quick to forget?  Provision, provision, provision. 

This doesn't make it easy, though.  The thought of asking for consistent support, to invest in something long-term, to be doing something that people don't expect...to open up my inbox to no responses, to leave more voicemails...

Sometimes it feels like a neverending stream of mini-prayers.  God, what am I doing?  God, you know my heart.  God, remind me why this matters.  You are in charge.  It is not about me.  It is not my ministry. 

But there are moments of extreme encouragement:  my Stockton home church so willingly transferring support from Shannon to me, friends responding positively with just one short email.  Pieces that remind me that God is orchestrating my life, and he will do a far better job of it than I ever can.