I have asked my God
what are the words for this sacred season
Because
I feel the pause, the holding.
The silence.
That makes today's joy all the more pronounced
The answer comes in my soul at rest
Peace
Home
Belonging
Being known
at a house on Pamplona Avenue
Where beauty is Josephine with uneven bangs
And belonging is her between me and Auntie Natalie
Where rhythm is not only Kai's beating on drums
But the shrill of "Auntie!"
And feet on hardwood floor
Coming faster to knock me over
With love
Davis - soft comfort when transition was hard on my soul
Furniture switches rooms but the address stays the same
Painted walls and mounted decor where I found roots
Closets that weren't storing packing boxes for the future
Grace has always abounded in this home
Where I was never expected to be perfect
Broken pieces and held-back tears meant that
only Jesus could make all things whole
Staff worker, daughter, auntie, sister
To be all of them or none at all
The freedom to carry every identity but also just one
One with the Father
The blessing of seeing a real home -
Trivial arguments, imperfect understanding
Mistakes that cannot be hidden
That selfish lashing out
Yet
Hugs and bedtime snuggles
Apologies and love
The messy normal of family life
Daily mistakes causing me to
release my grip on perfection
a little bit
more
Amid the messiah's death overturning order
Is hope not just trickling down
But declaring, loudly - joy, wholeness, redemption
Something right and beautiful knowing that
I have and will always have a home
That this sacred belonging is a gift
My Father promising his daughter
Belonging instead of wandering
Love without working
Joy in mere presence
Comfort in silent and listening
Ceasing to strive
Resurrection Sunday revealing the promise
Of beauty in our broken world
Of love abounding
Of right relationships
Of Jesus lived out in real people
in a house on Pamplona Avenue
Being known
at a house on Pamplona Avenue
Where beauty is Josephine with uneven bangs
And belonging is her between me and Auntie Natalie
Where rhythm is not only Kai's beating on drums
But the shrill of "Auntie!"
And feet on hardwood floor
Coming faster to knock me over
With love
Davis - soft comfort when transition was hard on my soul
Furniture switches rooms but the address stays the same
Painted walls and mounted decor where I found roots
Closets that weren't storing packing boxes for the future
Grace has always abounded in this home
Where I was never expected to be perfect
Broken pieces and held-back tears meant that
only Jesus could make all things whole
Staff worker, daughter, auntie, sister
To be all of them or none at all
The freedom to carry every identity but also just one
One with the Father
The blessing of seeing a real home -
Trivial arguments, imperfect understanding
Mistakes that cannot be hidden
That selfish lashing out
Yet
Hugs and bedtime snuggles
Apologies and love
The messy normal of family life
Daily mistakes causing me to
release my grip on perfection
a little bit
more
Amid the messiah's death overturning order
Is hope not just trickling down
But declaring, loudly - joy, wholeness, redemption
Something right and beautiful knowing that
I have and will always have a home
That this sacred belonging is a gift
My Father promising his daughter
Belonging instead of wandering
Love without working
Joy in mere presence
Comfort in silent and listening
Ceasing to strive
Resurrection Sunday revealing the promise
Of beauty in our broken world
Of love abounding
Of right relationships
Of Jesus lived out in real people
in a house on Pamplona Avenue
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