On Losing Trust

I guess I'm fortunate enough to have never had someone break my trust too drastically, or I give it away freely enough that I don't often think if it's worth it. But after a recent conflict-resolution-type of conversation with a friend, I'm left confused at what to do when trust has been broken.

Can I even trust what you are saying? 
Is this you pushing off responsibility and making excuses (again), or was it a genuine misunderstanding? 
Are you deliberately lying to me, or are you just that forgetful? Because there is a missing piece in here somewhere. 
Does she really always have a reason for something? Or is it an excuse? 
I'm not sure how sincere you are about changing. 
I feel like you have to prove to me that you actually care. 
You've said this before, so I really don't know if you're serious this time. 
Why do I feel like I let you off too easy?

Broken trust is a weird thing. I don't know what has kept me from having to experience this for most of my 24 years of life. Not to say that I haven't been hurt, haven't felt betrayed, haven't sat trying to sort truth from...other things. But for whatever fortunate reason, a deep distrust of another person is not the kind of brokenness I've dealt with in my life. This is a blessing, I know.

But again I say: Broken trust is a weird thing. And I don't really know how to follow Jesus in a relationship where I don't believe her anymore. I know to forgive--but what is that, really? Do you say what she did in the past was wrong but it's okay, and I'll trust you for the future? I feel like you should be allowed a degree of skepticism...is that like the consequence of sin in spite of our forgiveness? What is the balance of loving her but it's okay that you're not going to let her in completely right now. What is loving her, anyway? How honest should I be about how much I filter from what she says? How do I sort through skepticism and valid distrust, but keep that away from holding grudges?

We say we forgive because Christ forgave us. That my sin was so great that Jesus had to die to cover that. Jesus died to cover her too. But what does that mean between me and her? How do I realistically deal with things instead off the too-frequent, unhealthy just-let-it-go? What is grace after it has been offered too many times...or perhaps that statement alone is my own limitations coming to light. What is grace when I am tired of defending myself?

Broken trust is a weird thing.