Promise

Last Sunday I went to lunch after church with a group of people I had just met. It's awkward because they think I'm new, but I've really been around the church for five months and just haven't met too many people yet. They're nice, they're similarly settled in their life phase, and a lot of them ask me questions and I feel like I can (kind of) participate in their conversations.

Just a few days prior, I had ended my day of rest by looking through photos and reading old notes from friends. It hit me then that moving away was a conscious choice to not be in someone's life as much anymore.  Leaving Stockton meant I was choosing to leave how close I was involved in my friends' lives there. The pictures of my goodbye parties seemed so much heavier in light of that realization: after eight months, it's even more obvious what I was saying goodbye to. You still keep in touch with the closest friends, but you can't do much about all the others. You're simply not there as much, you can't just pass them by. I left their lives, I left a lot of those friendships behind. Left them to be picked up on a fortunate day when we cross paths again, but until then, they currently exist in pictures and the occasional brief facebook comment.

I thought about this when I drove away from lunch, excited at the potential for new friendships. But these people at church will never replace my old community, nor am I searching for people to take the place of my old friends. Instead, I remember that God promises good gifts and provision. That he fills where I lack. I am delighted to discover a confidence in my soul that trusts that The Lord has promised good to me: rich, deep, satisfying. Providing for all my needs, relationships and friendships included.
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Spring blossoms are everywhere right now; white, pink, and purple petals swirling about in the March wind. I walk under a tree in full bloom on the way to campus. I was contemplating sin, guilt, and reluctance towards change. But I see the white petals swirling around me and I think, promise. What is Jesus' promise in the face of dark sin? His grace is sufficient for my weakness. When will I choose to cling to this above all else? Even with best intentions I fall short. But perhaps that is why we come back over and over again to his promise of forgiveness and redemption. Lord knows I need it.
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Each week that passes by marks a longer time that Sacramento has been my home. It's getting more awkward and less appropriate to say, "I just moved here." But I'm also finding more reasons to love it even as I'm unsure of where new friendships will happen. In some senses, it feels like yes, I made a decision to leave a city that was home to me...but God invited me instead into a fun, new city, filled with things that I love. Things like restaurants with patios perfect for summer dinners, ultimate leagues and a beautiful river trail (I know, I keep repeating these things), and even a random running club that I did speed workouts with today because I was too bored of training on my own.

They are kind of little things. But they are things that I love, things that make me happy, and things that hint of a promise that I am watched over. Taken care of. Loved and provided for as a daughter.