On Prayer

Pray Big and Pray Bold: Sunder Krishnan from Urbana on Vimeo.

Natalie and I were talking about prayer a few weeks ago, and it dawned on me that this talk from Urbana 09 was a big turning point in my prayer life. This talk was such a reality check about our approach to prayer, but woven into it were practical bits as well. After this talk, I decided to cut crap out of my prayer, to stop filling my prayers with words I churned out from routine. Through Sunder's example of jobless John, I realized the empty regurgitation of most of my prayers. This part is tricky to write about because there is nothing inherently wrong about the, "Thank you for bringing us here", "Thank you for freedom to gather because we know not everyone in the world can", etc. But for me, I realized I felt obligated to pray these things...and I didn't want that to be the case. So instead, I started opening my prayers with the sovereign character of our God. To this day, my prayers are still marked as such: in times of suffering, I call on a God who suffered alongside with us; in times of sickness and pain, I call out to the ultimate Healer. In times of confusion I remember he is a God that gives peace. I take a few sentences to remember who God is and what scripture says of Him. This sets up my prayer, and the request that follows sits under His character and His sovereignty.

I think this talk challenged my priority on prayer and my belief that it works, that we are invited to create with God and engage with the world through prayer. When we were still at Urbana, there was an afternoon where Natalie and I sprawled on the floor in the prayer room and talked about Large Group, ministry, and life. I challenged out loud - If we really think prayer is fundamental to our ministry, how do we orient our times/lives/meetings to reflect that? I recall that being the discussion that we would move our prayer/devotion time to start our meetings (we called it "First thing") instead of haphazardly throwing it in our closing. In hindsight, what fun and how powerful it was to make that change as a student leader (in many ways, Steve's sabbatical that semester really was a gift).

It's hard to remember the other changes I made four years ago. But if I think hard, I also remember challenging myself and Natalie to find scripture that paralleled our prayers. I don't remember the situation, but I remember asking, "Well, where can we find that in scripture?" We flipped through the New Testament to glean from whatever was prayed back then. I think that was the year I first loved Psalm 24, my favorite psalm to pray before large group because of how it rightfully puts the King of Glory in his place, prays for our clean hands and pure hearts, and then calls for the gates to be lifted up.

As I've rewatched it a few times over the years, there is much more to learn from it. For one, my prayers and motivations are not exactly done in light of God as Sovereign, Creator, Revealer, and Worker, as Sunder highlights as the four corners which set up the character of the God we pray to. I must also remember that prayer changes us - that if every time we pray we remember the character of God, then over the years, we are bound to be transformed. This is the prayer life I want to have - one that engages reality, one that worships our God, one that changes my life.