Asian-American Staff Conference (February): In the middle of my first year working with very few Asian-American students and no Asian-American staff, it was a breath of relief to unwind some of my subconscious and internalized tension as a minority. It was also rather humbling to have what seems like "higher-up" staff just sitting around at the table with you during small group time, participating just like every other staff in the room. Remembering: the call to bring everything we are and have to offer instead of keeping ourselves at the kid table.
Making friends at church (March): After a few months of going to CG on-and-off, trying to catch a glimpse of the 2 or 3 people whose names I knew (or just D's relatives...), my staff friend Peggy connected me with her old childhood friend who also attended my church. We met up one Sunday after church and she quickly introduced me to half of the career adult group, including Amy. Amy in turn introduced me to everyone else and also invited me to lunch. I remember having the half-awkward thought of, "maybe I shouldn't say 'yes' to this invite since I don't know me" contrasted with the desperate thought of, "who cares, what if this is an opportunity?" Needless to say that one lunch at IHOP was where I met a fair amount of the CAT group I continue to talk now (even though I had to ask for everyone's name frequently in the upcoming month). Come to think of it, I think I even shared chicken and waffles with Rosanne that day. And even though I am still figuring out community here and don't always feel like I fit in, that Sunday was definitely a turning point in friendships and relationships. Remembering: That Sunday reminded me of God's provision and promise even as I followed him to a new city.
Playing Ultimate (year-round, but especially April): I have never played Ultimate so regularly. I've significantly improved since I moved to Sacramento. But perhaps the league that changed a lot was when I said "what the heck, what do I lose by inviting myself?" (come to think of it, I said that a lot in 2013........) when one of the girls posted in a facebook group that their team needed a few more players. I signed up with the Midtown team and learned their names and they learned mine, and even more, and I made it a point to go with them to the sports bar after to get to know them (and also watch the tail end of Giants' games). Even though I had played with a fair amount of Sac peeps through hat leagues and tourneys, tagging onto this team meant friends I played with a little more regularly and a team to sign up with for non-hat tournaments. Remembering: Choosing to go to a sports bar with your friends may be more important than being "productive" that night.
Mini-highlight (May): Finishing my second half-marathon at 2:07:54! That was fun.
Totally enjoying large group talks (starting in May): First, I loved the topic of my May talk and had much experience and many thoughts with our identity as an employee. Second, I wove in a little engineering nerdiness. Third, as I was preparing, I remembered listening to James Chuong speak at AAMSC and thinking, "He is an incredible speaker: able to teach, challenge, sound like he's talking straight to you, barely uses his notes!" and then, "huh, I would like to teach like that someday." While I'm still discovering the unique teaching gifts God has given me, I think that note put into perspective what I appreciated about effective teachers. As I practiced my talk in the shower a couple days before my talk, I realized I could give nearly the whole introduction without notes! This made me more aware of how much I could speak naturally, from memory and also without my paper. Even though it was my fourth talk in my staff experience, it was the first I loved! I also loved teaching on hospitality in September and then Moses in November. Lots of fun. Remembering: finding freedom to embrace what I love and recognize the gifts and strengths God has given me. And: It's okay to claim/accept/embrace you're good at something.
Seattle Roadtrip (July): Roadtripping with Jane, the perfect vacation buddy. Long talks everywhere. Relaxing boat ride with old Kolkata friends. Celebrating the McEntee's wedding. Sleeping at good times and waking up at good times, feeling so rested. Pike's Place and July 4th with the gals. A good, good vacation. Remembering: Take vacations! Also, I love water.
Intern Trek (July): Returning to the trek just two years later at staff put my growth into perspective, and I surprised myself when the multiethnicity conversation rolled around and I spoke with a sure, confident voice to both our entire group as well as to individual AAm interns. It was a voice that had grown over two years, one that tested the waters of trust, vulnerability, and redemption and had learned a little of where to speak up and where to hold back. It was ready to speak and teach things that my eyes saw, it testified of brokenness and our need for Jesus and for grace, but also told story after story of why the messy journey was worth it.
And it was a voice that others were listening to: ones that my fellow Asian brothers and sisters followed, ones that my non-Asian comrades sought for perspective. It caught me off guard. I suppose my response to Pauline at the end of the trek summarized it well: as she commented about authority, respect, and the the way I carried myself, I said something along the lines of: "New clothes, it feels like I'm trying on new clothes." The last night of the trek, I had an adrenaline rush as I realized the things that I had led, initiated, and encouraged as well as what had been affirmed in the past 10 days. Remembering: Walk in the authority that God gives you when he asks you to hold a whole fellowship, a whole campus in your heart. Lead out of your time spent with God, not out of your expertise. And speak loudly and clearly.
Mini-highlight (September): Celebrating five years with Darrell! This sounds absolutely ridiculous. I've been with this guy for 20% of my life! But every year is different. We are very different people than we were when we first started. And you know what? That's a very, very good thing. I think we were going to hike Mission Peak that day too, but it rained...and it was the day before my sister's Bridal Shower, so he went shopping with me...but maybe that really is our life together: changing plans and making it work together. And we did end that night with some absolutely delicious lamb chops, and walking, sitting around, and reminiscing...just like we always do (minus the lamb chops).
November: I love the month of November. I may be biased because it's my birthday month, but it's also a lovely autumn month (my favorite season!) as well as the start of the holiday festivities. But this November was especially lovely, so it gets it's own section!
- Mini-highlight: The first few days of this month were spent preparing for my sister's wedding! And then I got a brother-in-law! The whole helping-with-wedding-stuff and explaining-and-interpreting-for-both-sides made me extremely aware of my bi-cultural life as I explained American weddings and perspectives to my parents, and found words to explain my parents' expectations, traditions, and perceptions to friends. But hey, it pulled off rather smoothly.
- Finding rhythms: When Darrell started his hardest rotation in early November, I told him I would wake up at 8 am and pray for him (us campus staff have the flexibility to start our days later, but we do stay up later to make up for it...). After less than a week of 8 am wake up times, I felt incredible! I had leisurely time to get ready in the morning, and best of all, I started taking long, extended quiet times, spending up to an hour or an hour fifteen with Jesus in the mornings. I could journal the whole time, read scripture, do some stretches, or even get artsy. I had so many good mornings with God!
- Choosing to receive: I spent most of my 25th birthday in San Francisco with a couple support meetings. Then I dashed home to grab some snacks before heading out for a mini-game night....and then was surprised by chocolate cake halfway through! Almost every year from the past five years, I've been surprised by people who love me. Almost every year, I give Darrell the same spiel about how I feel bad that people are making a big deal out of my birthday, that I try not to draw attention to it and feel awkward that people did anyway. But this year, I think I'll receive it....receive the love and all.
- Rediscovering my love for campus: Some sweet, much-needed prayer time at Cultivate left me rediscovering the freedom to be fully who God made it...or at least, the freedom to find that out. Man, letting go of the burden of trying to be someone else, remember how God made you and what you loved about loving people, and choosing to be yourself in ministry is a wonderful thing. I had the best two weeks of campus after that.
Okay. This is a long post. And there were more great moments in it!! (says the eternal optimist) What a year, what a year! Here's to another one!
This is beautiful friend! I love reading about your past year :)
ReplyDeleteWe had a prayer retreat this past week, and I did something similar. I am inspired and may post it now!