20. Weight of Words

I'm sending out Christmas cards for the first time this year! Even though I know it's taking up way too much time, I can't help but jotting a personal note on the back of 99% of my cards. I'm getting a lot better at writing 聖誕節快樂 (my first one was horribly out of proportion) for all the church uncles and aunties. Other notes are very cliche. 

I found myself writing "Can't wait to see you!" on one of my cards and I realized...that's not exactly right. I've used that phrase most often with Darrell as we're counting down our long days in between seeing each other, and those are the times when I find myself urging life to speed up, wishing I could just lean forward into the next day, fast forward a few hours--anything, really, because I really can't wait. In comparison to that, jotting this down on the back of a good friend's card seems to pale and even feels a tad dishonest, though I am looking forward to our rendezvous next month. 

Then again, I'm the one who doles out I-love-you's to a generous amount of friends once they've reached a threshold of trust and relationship, which is not the most difficult thing. I use affectionate words freely yet mean them sincerely. But for some reason, this one card just caught me a bit off guard.